Let’s have some fun and pick pearls of wisdom from Adele’s “Send My Love (To Your New Lover)”, because we know a jaunty song from Adele is pretty rare to start with. This month’s post takes inspiration from her song and applies it to the importance of saying goodbye with attitude, blame, but most of all, forgiveness.
1. On (not) blaming the other
This is counter-intuitive to the coach in me – blaming the other and not taking personal responsibility. But let’s not be so serious and just enjoy this:
This was all you, none of it me
You put your hands all over my body and told me
You told me you were ready
For the big one, for the big jump
I’d be your last love everlasting you and me
That was what you told me
Oh, the fun of pointing the finger at another, for all the broken promises, for the terrible lies he told.
Add more salt and injury to the open wound by mentioning his weak constitution and inability to keep up with you. In fact, he was holding you back intentionally, this was truly all him:
I was too strong you were trembling
You couldn’t handle the hot heat rising (rising)
Baby I’m so rising
I was running, you were walking
You couldn’t keep up, you were falling down (down)
There’s only one way down
2. On giving up, forgiving and being set free
The below sums it up nicely and of course it’s tongue-in-cheek. Adele is basically saying that his new girlfriend is in for misfortune unless he grows up and learns how to treat her well. I’m going to guess that we already feel sorry for any new girl he meets, since it’ll probably take him longer to grow up then for Adele to have another hit song.
I’m giving you up
I’ve forgiven it all
You set me free
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain’t kids no more
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain’t kids no more
But let’s talk about forgiveness since we’re on this topic. Forgiving another is about freeing yourself more than the other. Our capacity to forgive is rarely exceeded, so go ahead and use it.
It’s best said in Mandarin where:
“原谅” (yuán liàng) is “Forgive”
原 － 1. source， 2. original， 3. cause
谅 － 1. excuse, forgive, 2. to understand, 3. guess, presume
原谅就是放下过去。- Forgiveness means letting go of the past
When facing an altercation, if we can understand what has caused it, we can forgive more easily. Even if we may not know the root causes enough to find the needed forgiveness, what we do know is that letting go of the past gives us new found freedom to focus on the present.
Take it from Adele, she claims to have forgiven it all but she definitely hasn’t forgotten much. She’s derived enough material to write a hit song, throwing in advice on growing up, letting go of the past and how someone should treat others better. Of course, she also proclaims her freedom and graciously sends lots of love.
3. Say Goodbye with Dizzying Attitude
Watch the video and you’ll understand what I mean:
Lyrics from MetroLyrics: Adele – Send My Love (To Your New Lover)