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On a scale of 1 to 10

A deceptively simple rating “1-10” with 10 being the ultimate ideal state. This rating is what I sometimes ask my clients to give me a quick score of how they are doing. We first detail what “10” means to them and discover what the gaps are, if any. 
 
I say “if any” but always get “so many” (gaps). 
 
No one has yet to say they are at a 10 or believe that is possible. Some say they don’t want to jinx it, so conservatively feel that even at an 8, life is good enough; and at this moment, they are a 6 or 7. A few share that the last time they experienced 9 or 10 was when they were on holiday. Yet others use words like “survive”, “doing ok” and “not bad”.
 
Time for a sense check - if you yourself determines what constitutes a 10, why isn’t it attainable to you? What’s holding you back from have multiple moments of 10 in a day and yes, some 2s, some 7s … why do we prefer a non-threatening 6 or 7? How about choosing differently and believing that 10 is within reach and even lasting. Let’s decide that we are enough and life is oftentimes great. 
 
With this new perspective, we can freely revel in the good times while building resilience to the tougher moments. It also changes the way we communicate to others, so for once we mean it when we say we’re doing good (ala 10) and if not, then have valid reasons to complain. Our self-talk will now contain gratitude, wonder, happiness as you start focusing on how to create and live up the 10s and tackle the gaps, if any.
 
(For the record, I’m at this moment a 10 having written the above, while enjoying a sunny winter day in Johannesburg with my 8 month old Erin crawling around energetically.)
 

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

- Mark Twain